So lets talk Batman...

As I look forward to the coming summer months my head is boggled; never has there been so many summer movies I was excited for. Literally, I think I counted twenty, It's ridiculous. At the top of my list is The Dark Knight, without a doubt. After seeing Batman Begins I could sleep easy knowing that Batman has finally been given his big screen due. I don't know if any of you are but I can't stand the four batman movies that came before. Let me explain:

First off, I think it goes without saying that we don't have to reminisce about Forever and Batman and Robin. Uhm, Tommy Lee Jones-why? And nipple suits (quiver). Now moving onto those two Tim Burton versions, the first two (this is of course disregarding the original Adam West serials which are pure comedic gold but alas a saga of their own): I remember watching those a couple years ago and not being able to finish them, my main gripe, as I remember was this wasn't my Batman, he wasn't breaking jaws and saying no to taking your shit. Basically, he wasn't a hardass. So later on, I hear people saying that those were the best ones and I was thrown back into my seat- whats this? Did I miss something? So, I'm at home one night and either the first or Returns comes on, I don't remember and I'm thinking "okay, lets give this another go". Right when I think that Batman whips out a Baterrang and throws it at a good while making the "woosh woosh" noise followed by a couple "boings" and "bops". Yeah, fuck it. I also remember a scene where the Batwing was trying to shoot at penguin(?) and it missed him about five times and kept having to fly by over and over again. I think Burton was trying to build suspense but it was just fucking boring, as I remember.

So here I was, completely positive these weren't good movies. Well sure enough, the people that were saying they were so good were of close those Hot Topic dwelling Tim Burton fanboys. Nothing against it if that's your lifestyle, just don't review movies... please? THEN, after that I hear a quote from Tim Burton that was along the lines of "I've never picked up a comic in my life"- it may have been "I've never picked up a Batman comic..." but I'm gonna broaden it because I don't want him making comic book movies anymore. So after that, I could bring this proposal to you, America: Those first four Batman movies never happened and lets all make a pact that Batman Begins is the greatest comic movie ever made and that its the only serious attempt at Batman ever made AND Christian Bale is the greatest Batman EVER (and (god this is such a run on sentence) Heath Ledger (R.I.P. (parenthesis attack!!!)) is probably a brilliant, if not perfect, Joker). Oh, you can watch the Adam West serials whenever, we can allow that.

Hope to see you all "The Dark Knight" IMAX midnight at The Metrion in San Fran in July :D


P.S. If you are a Tim Burton fanboy, I got nothing against the guy as long as he stays away from Batman. Sweeney Todd was bitchin' and so was Big Fish. Sleep easy, America.